What do you think when you see someone that is successful? Do you think…
- I want to be like that!
- I could be like that if…
- GOOD For them!
- They aren’t that great
- They didn’t get there on their own
- Their motivations are not pure
Being successful can be absolutely wonderful. It can be an incredible and life-fulfilling experience. Sometimes, however, it can get really lonely. Why is that?
Have you ever been in a situation where you are doing all the right things, kicking butt and taking names, making the impossible possible and the people around you seem to be putting up barriers left and right? Is it your imagination? It seems so illogical that people would do that, right? Don’t your peers understand that as one of us rises, we all can rise together? Don’t they realize that you will put that hand back behind you and bring them along with you on your journey?
What I’m going to write here is from the experience of someone that has done big things, like many of you…and has occasionally had to suffer the loneliness of success, like many of you.
There are certainly people that will see you for the rock star that you are and help you along your journey. These are your mentors, your advisors, your business partners, your real friends and family. They will go out of their way to give you moments to shine. They are selfless in their support of your efforts. They will give their time, support, energy, and focus to help you succeed and for the most genuine reasons of all – they want you to succeed.
I have a really strong inner circle of people in this category. As they read this, they will know immediately who they are and how much they mean to me. We will do big things together. We are doing big things together. I know it and so do they. They also know that I have their back. As I take a step forward, I bring them with me. And they do the same.
Then there is the group of people that will stand in your way. And I don’t mean just stand there. They will actively throw rocks in your path or push you in front of the proverbial bus to see you trip up. The scary thing is that those people could be anywhere and in any role. They could be masking themselves as your friends, advisors, and mentors or they could be your boss, your peers, those that you count on and trust to work with you to help you all do big things together.
Unfortunately, I have worked with people in this category, as well. In fact, I recently had an experience where I was blown away by the lengths a small group of people would go to to tarnish my name and stand in the way of success for all of us as a group.
Does any of this sound familiar? Are there people in your life that you feel like you should be able to count on to be your partners, your supporters, and your friends, yet you observe behaviors that suggest they don’t really have your back? Yeah? OK, keep reading…
So, what do you do? Whatever you can to survive until you can be very clear on whether or not you are up for the challenge of attempting to change the culture. If you are not yet ready to go, take every opportunity you can to learn everything you can from the people around you, even those who seem to be fighting against you. Earlier in my career, I learned a lot from my experiences in less than desirable environments that were heavy in change resistance and even unsupportive cultures. That’s where a lot of my proven techniques on change resistance and navigating culture were developed.
Keep in mind, swimming upstream can make you a very strong swimmer, but at some point, it will lead you to exhaustion.
If you are in a position where you don’t have to stay, don’t. The longer you put yourself in a position where you are not around people you can trust, the more anxiety you are likely to feel. It’s a dangerous place to constantly be in a state of fear, whether it’s about your job, a volunteer role, or any place where you are trying to have an impact. Why? BECAUSE YOU WILL STOP HAVING IMPACT. And even worse, you could lose yourself…quickly.
You are successful because you help people. You are successful because you have a core that is strong and true. People can count on you. You do what you say you are going to do. Keep being a rock star. There are not enough rock stars. Keep your eye on your goals. Take care of those around you along the way. Cherish your inner circle and go do big things together. Oh, and when they tell you to get out of that bad situation of toxic behaviors – LISTEN. As one of my advisors said, “You know it’s time to go when it gets painful. Not just the usual drama of people, but really painful. When that happens, go and go fast.”
Don’t forget to stay open. It is crucial that you get really good at accepting feedback and processing it so that you can determine how to improve. However, you won’t always know if those giving you the advice have your best interests at heart. This is where your inner circle comes in to help you process the information you are getting, give you support and guidance in a trusted environment, and be a safe place to learn and grow.
For many of us, it’s hard to know where to turn to build that inner circle. That is exactly the kind of community we are building for you. We are launching a new program called the PMO Strategies Inner Circle. It is a private group where together, we will learn and grow and support each other. Join us on facebook and come help us create a safe place where we can all have each other’s backs.
If you are interested, you must be a newsletter subscriber. We are keeping the group closed for now to our loyal newsletter subscribers so we can give them some love and support. Sign up if you want to join us in supporting each other as we change the world together! Get our Newsletter
See you online!!
Thanks for taking the time to read this article.
Click here to receive these blog posts right to your inbox.
Fill out our one-minute survey if you have topics you would like read more about.
I welcome your feedback and insights. Please leave a comment below.
See you online!